Seventeen year-old Sara is, together with her family, a devoted and strict member of Jehovah's Witnesses. She is not allowed to fall in love with anyone outside the religion, and if she is found out doing such, she has to leave her religion and family behind. Her encounter with non-member Teis turns her life upside down, and at such a tender age, Sara has to make a life-altering decision. Based on a true story.

More info here

Just my two cents.. no offence meant..

Spoiler Alert!

This is my fav movie during the JiFFest '08 (gayanya kayak nonton banyak aja.. hahaha.. if I had the time, I wud've watch all of them :D )

First of all, I admire Sara Dahl.. she is such a strong and brave woman, despite being 17.. I admire her courage to stand up for herself and choose what *she* believes in, not what other people *doctrines* her to believe.. no offend to anyone, but for me the relation with God is something very personal, it's what *we* believe, not with interfere from other people..

There was this part where people expelled her out of the Jehovah community because she chose to be with Teis, which they refer as an "unbeliever". She was shut off from her family and from her friends because she didn't act 'inline with the rules' She was treated as if she didn't exist anymore.. people can't talk to her anymore, they pretend they don't see her her when they happen to meet on the street.. well, it was sad..

oh well, enough of my ramblings. if you get an opportunity to watch the movie, I recommend you to do so. It's a good one..

Numb is ‘incapable of action or of feeling emotion; enervated; prostrate; lacking or deficient in emotion or feeling; indifferent’.

 

When rationally things should hurt, but it doesn’t, it’s called “being numb” Logically, your brain is aware of how overwhelming the pain it would feel if it decides to acknowledged the reality. Thus, we tend to reject admitting our true feelings, making a shield to reveal the truth, making ourselves to believe that we are ‘fine’ when maybe we are not, trying to show that we are strong. It is human nature to deny the fact that we are ‘weak’ beings. We are nothing mighty; we are merely dust compared to everything revolving in the universe. We are small. We are vulnerable. We are weak.

 

It is as if you had a bullet in your arm; you know it’s there, but the pain is outrageous that you can’t feel it anymore. Anesthesia and other means of ‘sugar coating’ the situation are merely drugs which gives the false euphoria sensation. Anesthesia is just a false temporary comfort. When your realization comes back, the wound would sting so bad; usually people tend to kick back the pain and pretend that everything is ‘OK’. We seek for the most comforting way to go through things. We lie to ourselves, not daring to wake up from the comforting “delusion”.

 

Thus… we become numb…

 

In the end, we have a choice to keep misleading ourselves in the delusional fairytale... The second choice is to find a will and courage to remove the bullet inside, without anesthesia... Anyway, it’s just a matter of time, sooner or later you will need to remove the bullet. It’s just the matter of how long you let yourself be in delusion. As soon as you remove the bullet, there will be a large wound, which you need to mend. The right aid and time are the only cure. One day it will heal.

 

As time goes by, when you look at your scar, you would have been wondering how you got the wound in the first place. Then, you can smile at yourself for you have managed to heal a bullet wound with no anesthesia.

“I’m enjoying my loneliness”

 

Has that thought ever crossed your mind? I don’t know how weird this sounds, but sometimes I enjoy my loneliness. There are times I need to ‘be lonely’ Maybe it does feel sad and pathetic, but within that sad and pathetic feeling, I feel comfortable.

 

I could just walk alone where ever my feet lead me. Just sit alone on a bench, listening to the surroundings. Dine alone to find pleasure in the peace and calmness I rarely experience. Once and a while I meet other people like me, the people who find pleasure in the quietness. The funny thing is we can glance and smile at each other, more or less saying “happy loner day” then we go back to our own solitude. People do need words to communicate, but sometimes not saying anything at all means much more.

 

When I think of it again, maybe it’s about the safety and ease that we can find in this tranquility. It’s a time you can completely let your guard down, take of your mask and breathe. Sometimes you need to hit the break and pull over to the rest area, before you can go back to the fast lane. It feels nice when the world seems to stop revolving. It feels nice to be able to feel the breeze, breathe and feel the air rush into your lungs. It’s nice to feel.

 

There was this time in my life where I forgot how to feel. My mind made an artificial shield so thick that made me impossible to bleed. Rejecting to feel. Denying to feel hurt. When the shield ripped, the ability to “feel” came back, thus the damage was severe and painful. It was my first “trial” that life gave me, I almost failed my “exam” Despite all the scars it left, I lived on. Moreover, it changed the way I view life.

 

No matter how pathetic it sounds, feeling lonely is much better than not feeling at all. There’s this bitter sweet feeling in the “loneliness”. Strange, but humans tend to enjoy that feeling. I do.

 

I’m a loner. A loner who enjoys her loneliness.

I went on a business trip to Sorowako, South Sulawesi, from 24-26 October 2007. We went to attend INCO's investor and analyst site visit there. There were 18 participants from the sell and the buy side, some come from abroad (there was even 1 person who took a 19-hour flight from NY especially for this trip. how are you, Dan?). It was really an amazing experience.

Day 1. We took a VIP chartered flight from Jakarta to Makassar (Fokker 100, kapan lagi bisa duduk dipesawat dengan 3 seats for your own), then connected with a Dash 7 plane to Sorowako (pesawat baling2 bow!). Since the Dash 7 was a small plane, it could hover down and we could see the site from above. When we arrived we were greeted by the INCO team and escorted to the guest house. Then we had dinner while seeing a presentation about the company (very nice food and wine ^^).

Day 2. Started with a very nice breakfast, despite the fact that it was waaay to early for my brain to fully function (6am WITA means 5am WIB, I need 1 hour to get ready so I had to wake up at 4am WIB *fiuh*). Then we went to the nursery, plants,trees, people, not animal nursery.. =P Very nice and green, the environmental organizations are gonna love it. Next is the tour to the mining site in Anoa Hil. The equipment were huugeee. One of them had tires as tall as a grown up man, wow.. Later on we went to see the Balambano Dam and had BBQ on top of the dam. Very beautiful scenery, it was incredible high technology and nature residing side by side. To them water is like diamonds, it is the source of energy. After stuffing our tummy's with food, then we went to see the Karebbe dam site. When it is finished they will have more supply of energy to run their operations. Very neat. After enjoying the super duper hot sun in Karebbe, we were refreshed by the soothing water of Matano Lake. We went rafting in the crystal clear lake, so tempting that I cant resist not to take a dive in there. There was an underwater cave with stalagmite and stalactite in the Matano lake, you have to swim to get inside. I'm gonna miss the lake, feel like taking another dip inside. Hohoho. Lastly, the day was closed with a formal dinner with the INCO management and their family. Very delicious food, I'm loving my life as a 'wanita kurir' xixixixi.. Who said you have to have royal blood to be treated like royalties? *lol*

Day 3. Last day on paradise island, I felt a bit sad to part with the island. After having another tummy soothing breakfast we went to see the process plant. Wow, I never knew it was so complex to get some nickel matte. Seeing the process was so cool. I like the way they try to optimize everything, very neat and organized. They gave us some samples of nickel, wanna see some? After seeing how to get that 'green diamond' we went back to the dormitory hall for the 3Q07 result presentation and wrap up session. Impressive result, indeed.

Going back home. After packing we went to the Sorowako airport to leave with the Dash 7 towards Makassar again. We waited about an hour in the executive lounge in Makassar airport and bought some oleh2 (what's the English for this?? *lol*) After that we went back to Jakartaaaa.. Even though I love being in Sorowako, but my home sweet home is still Jakarta (or should I say 'kos sweet kos' hohoho..)

Well, I will post the photos in the photo album later on. Oh, someone asked me how was my job in Sorowako. I thought, "job? what job? I was on a vacation.." *lol*

“Finally..”

Hanya satu kata itu yang terlintas dikepala ketika tim dosen penguji mengucapkan kata-kata, “Anda lulus..” Rasanya semua penderitaan, siksaan, deraan selama menjalani 4 tahun kehidupan di FEUI terbayarkan. (okay, I’m exaggerating.. *lol* Rasanya satu lagi fase kehidupan yang sudah terlewati (OMG bahasa gw gaya banget seh xD ) Rasanya ada beban berat banget yang dah lepas.

Sidang skripsi & kompre itu benar-benar pengalaman yang tak terlupakan (sangking mengerikannya *lol*). People said that after you have experienced a job interview, the final presentation and comprehensive exam wouldn’t be as terrifying as you expected before. I say that it’s not true, at least for me. It still feels like a ‘monster’ to me. Tekanannya besar banget, secara yang dipertaruhkan ituh ‘si kelulusan’. Sumpah mengerikan bow! Analoginya, kalau orang jatuh cinta katanya sih ‘berjuta2 rasanya’, kalo siding sih ‘bertrilyun2 rasanya’ =P Gw pe gak tahan nangis-nangis bombay tadi. Tissue 1 pak abis tuh.. *lol*

Soal nilainya berapa itu udah gak terlalu penting untuk saat ini. Bagi gw sih kata-kata “Anda lulus” jauh lebih berharga untuk gw. Belum liad nilainya euy, kapan-kapan aja dech *lol* Well, tetep sih, ada revisi lagi setelah ini, tapi paling ngga my neck is safe. *siap2 cetak kartu nama pake embel2 ‘SE’* hihihihi..

Btw, untuk semua teman-temanku yang masih berjuang di FEUI, I wish you all goodluck! When there’s a will, there’s a way. Gambatte!! Patahkan satu kaki, break a leg! ^o^

The 10ft lion who's still growing...

He looks like something from a prehistoric age or a fantastic creation from Hollywood. But Hercules is very much living flesh and blood - as he proves every time he opens his gigantic mouth to roar. Part lion, part tiger, he is not just a big cat but a huge one,standing 10ft tall on his back legs. Called a liger, in reference to his crossbreed parentage, he is the largest of all the cat species.
On a typical day he will devour 20lb of meat, usually beef or chicken, and is capable of eating 100lb at a single setting. At just three years old, Hercules already weighs half a ton.

More Information Here

Continuing my previous entry, after considering this and that, finally, I decided to move near my office. Here comes the new life, here comes the new experiences. In about 2 weeks, I would be moving for my 16^th time. I wonder will there be a place that I can call as my ‘permanent home’. I wonder when I will settle down. In the other hand, maybe I never will.

I rather enjoy the nomadic life; having to adapt to new environment, meeting new people, and experiencing new things. Wherever I go, I try to enjoy and treasure the moments, because I know that it may never come back. Wherever I stay, it feels like home.

In these 22 years of my life, I moved 14 times. (1) When I was born, I lived in my grandparents’ house at Cempaka Putih. (2-4) Then we moved to East Jakarta. At that time, we moved 3 times in the East Jakarta region. (5-7) Later on, we moved to Kentucky, USA. At first we lived in an apartment, then we rented a house, then we moved to another apartment. (8) When we got back to Indonesia, we lived in Duren Sawit. (9-11) After that, we moved to East Jakarta again. (12) When my father got his new job, we moved to Central Jakarta. (13) After that, we moved to Cibubur. (14-15) When I entered university, I moved to Depok. Finally, in the next 2 weeks, I would be moving for the 16^th time. *lol* I wonder how many times will I be moving in the future.

They say, "Taking the first step is the hardest part." I’ve been the many times for different situations and I know that it is true. The second step, third step and so on won’t be as hard as the first. Still, taking a first step of something completely new still scares me. I’m worried that if I step out of my comfort zone, I could never turn back or maybe when I do the ‘comfort zone’ won’t be the same. But that is life, we know that everything will change, it ‘s only the matter of time. That’s why I want to life to my full extent, I don’t want to have any regrets in life.

I know I’m going to miss my current life: campus, feeling the hectic ness of studying, being a lazy couch potato sometimes, being able to depend on other people, sometimes acting like a child, and just about everything. On one hand, I still want to be ‘a student’, but I know I can’t live like that forever. As a final year student majoring in Economics, I know that opportunities don’t come twice, we have to consider and decide whether we should execute the action or not. I considered and decided to ‘take a jump in the ocean’. Not that I ‘jumped’ without any deep thinking, there is a ‘boat’ waiting for me there. I know many new experiences are awaiting me abroad, it’s just that I don’t know whether it would take me to the destination I desire, or to some other foreign place. I know I should take all the risk attached to it, but there was only one risk that I was too afraid to bear. I’m not telling what it is here. I thought and discussed about the matter. I hope that things will be fine.

Now that I’m aboard the ship, the next step is how to adapt to the new environment. So far things are good, I love the culture surrounding me and the people are very welcoming. Honestly, I feel thrilled and worried at the same time *lol* I hope I could catch up with the rhythm as soon as possible.

Another thing that I’m still considering about is whether I should stay at my current house, or move to a kos (what is the English word for kos, eh??) closer to the office. I’m so attached to my house, my family, my doggies, my room, and so on, it feels so hard to part. The early working hour (6.45 am), forces me to move closer to the office. I’m not sure I could endure having to go to the office at 5.30 am every morning, going home very late, no chatting except on weekends and still trying to keep my sanity. I mean if I move, I could spare more time to rest, moreover, I could get ‘home’ earlier and have a couple of hours to satisfy my needs of chatting. *lol*

Until this instance, I’m still confused what to decide. Temporarily I think I would commute from Jakarta-Bogor, but I don’t know ‘til how long I could endure it.

Go to Google.com


--Click on Maps.


--Click on get Directions.


--From New York, New York.


--To Paris, France.


--And read line # 24.


If you laugh, then repost this! :)

Now this ........ is funny...true..but funny!!!



...a smile leads to a laugh


...a laugh leads to a high 5


...a high 5 leads to a hug


...a hug leads to a kiss

Coba aja ngomong kalimat-kalimat di
bawah ini.

Bahasa Indonesia:

"Tiga nenek sihir mengagumi tiga buah
arloji
merk Swatch. Nenek sihir mana melihat
pada arloji Swatch yang mana?"

In english :

"Three witches watch three Swatch
watches. Which
witch watch which Swatch watch?

Cool

By Gwen Stefani

 
This song somehow just got stuck in my head… Here I go again with my ramblings…

It’s been said that it’s easier to turn friendship into love, than the opposite. Well, maybe in some cases the opposite may work as well. Have you ever wondered how things change so drastically at a very rapid pace? If I didn’t experience it myself, I wouldn’t have believe that it was possible. Maybe this how ‘destiny’ works; a path that we are bound to walk through no matter what.  I believe things happen for a reason. It’s just the way of life. Memories will still be memories, but that’s all it is.

I think that I have reached another stage of life, another change in life. We are so far from where we’ve been; so far from what we thought ‘we’ could possibly become. I used to think that it was impossible, but I hope that everything is going right. It's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends. I hope we could be like that.

I’m happy for you, as I’m happy for myself. I’m very much satisfied with my life. We used to think that ‘we’ were the only happiness to reach, but amazingly He proved how limited our visions as humans are. When we see the big picture, it’s not only about a single happiness, but He triples it. He gave much more happiness than a human could comprehend. He guided both of us to the way to find our loves and happiness. At the same time, He kept us as friends.

Then, my friend, I hope we're cool…

Until we met again..

The video describes it the best.. *teary face*

***

Lately, I’ve been having these severe nostalgia attacks, I mean with songs. I think this song has a very deep meaning. It inspires me, especially on my old days when I was still a teenager. At that time, I was so sick of people who only judge from the appearance. There is much, much more in a person than the exterior only.

The time I heard this song, I was thinking ‘hey, you read my mind, gurls!’ Really love this song.. TLC rocks! So sad that Left Eye died in the accident, rest in peace girl..

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to grow up. Can’t wait for the time when how we look doesn’t matter, when what matters is how we are inside. Secara nanti kalo da tuir, orang gak mandang tampak luar dunx, yang penting itu mah kualitas pribadi bow.. xD

I do love to dress up since I was a little child, but I don’t know why there was a time I really didn’t care about how I look. Maybe it was because of the teenage hormones *lol* I was such a dreadful looking teenager. Go ask my junior high school friends if you don’t believe me *lol* I wanted people to see how I am inside, not the outside. I was so sick of how some people around me compete to be the most beautiful, most handsome person, just to please someone else. I was sick of how people judges merely by the exterior. I didn’t want to be one of them.

Then again, there was a time when I *became* one of them. There was a time when how I look became very important. ‘You can buy your hair if it won't grow. You can fix your nose if you said so. You can buy all the make up that M.A.C. can make’ Yes, once upon a time I been in that stage too. Pathetic isn’t it? Nothing was ever enough. Never ever enough. Everything was measured by the appearance. ‘I used to be so cute to me, just a little bit skinny. Why do I look to all these things to keep you happy?’ Okay, I was never too skinny, but you get the message, right? *lol* I was happy with how I am long before, but that time I was unpleased about myself, inside and out. I guess many people been in that stage also, it’s very common, especially among girls.

It’s easier to fix how you look outside, than to ‘fix’ your inner self. You need years of experiences; having to go through ups and downs to develop your inner being. What matters is ‘who’ you are deep inside. TLC’s song describes the issue better than me.

I’m not perfect, far away from perfect, but I’m trying to be a better person. I may not be the most wise person in the world, maybe can’t even claim myself as a ‘wise’ person. What I know is that I grew up during these years. Maybe I had reached the age where people start to see me as who I am. I’m glad that some people can see me through. I’m happy with the person I became.

Don’t mean to offence to anyone, okay? Just my two cents regarding this matter.. Sorry for my ramblings, being my talkative self, I can’t stand not leaving this not-so-short comment.. ^^

PS: I present you the video.. ^^ Hear the song, girls.. let’s have a lil’ nostalgic moment ^^

Listen to the song...

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid,
aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht
oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the
olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit
and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can
sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is
bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as
a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas
tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you
can raed tihs forwrad it.

I believe that children are our future
Teach them well and let them
Lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride, to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter
Remind us how we used to be…